Monday, November 17, 2008

What could I have been?

As Eliza & Taylor have been getting ready for their recitle that is this Thursday night I marvel at the sound of their voices. All of my childhood life I wanted nothing more than to be a singer. I sang at the top of my lungs & would often go into the bathroom & hold a hairbrush & sing into the mirror pretending that the world was watching & I was touching each & everyone of their hearts. When I was a young girl I had preapared a song to sing for someone that was ill & as I sang they told me I wasn't very good. Then in highschool a group of my friends put together a singing group. One of my friends knew how bad I wanted to be in it & asked me to join. At a practice another friend said, Leah you sound terrible. I was heart broken. Needless to say I left right away & never sang with them again. Infact while in the singles ward I attended I was called to be the choirister in Relief Society. I first laughed & told the councelor he must have been distracted when praying. But I also had been taught to never turn down the opportunity to grow. Oh how I grew, I grew by lipsynicing the songs every Sunday. I had been made to feel like a fool twice & I wasn't going for a third. Little did I know though that children are so wonderfully honest & my dear sweet McKay reminds me that I wasn't blessed with the gift of singing. You know I can hear it in my head & I can feel it in my heart but it just doesn't seem to come out that way. Then I turn to my children & what noise they make is the same beautiful sound I have always been hearing & feeling & I thank the Lord for finally giving it to me. It may not come through my voice but I can sit and listen to it for hours on end. That was the fisrt thing that attrackted me to Nathan was the sound of his voice when he would sing to me. I know that when the resurrection comes I too will join my family & sing out Hossana & it will sound as angelic as they do. Like Brother Anderson quoted in church yesterday
"It is never to late to be what you might have been."


Gold-E said...

Oh dear. I hope I wasn't the one who said that to you. If so, please accept my sincerest apologies. One never knows the impact such unnecessary, seemingly dumb comments can have on a person's life.

Talbot Family said...

I am with you on this one. I couldn't sing to save my soul from the fiery depths of you know where. I too have a passion for music and have stated on several accounts that I would swap my dancing for singing any day. One day when I am perfected I will sing out. I love that your children have developed their gifts and have the confidence to continue on.