football season is almost over

As the boys get ready to play in their last games of the season this Saturday we all feel a little bit of relief that it is finally coming to a close. It has been a long season & even with all the wins & playing in the playoffs & now the championship games, it has not been what we expected football to be. McKay has enjoyed it because he hasn't had to work hard. They are expected to be lazy by their head coach. (SO FRUSTRATING!). Taylor (Smitty as they call him) has started to loose the love he has for football & wont playfor this coach again because he said that he is still playing for Norte Dame & he isn't letting this coach stand in his way. His coach told Taylor one day he was gonna buy him a pink dress & a tutu so he can dance on the field since that's all he knows how to do is dance. So over the next 2 games Taylor had 18 unasstited tackles & 2 sacks. One someone brought up the comment the coach had made he said that's how he gets Smitty to perform. I am just thankful that our boys have told us that they are unhappy with how things have been. Both McKay & Taylor have grown a great amount this football season.....to bad it has had nothing to to with football.

Taylor's latest headshot.....

Eliza's latest headshot

It's Football Season....yeah baby!

Oh the smell of the sweat & the joy of being together as a family watching Taylor & McKay play the game they love. This is truly our favorite time of year. Yes our life consists of practices almost every night of the week & every Saturday we spend at the football fields but the time together as a family & the memories our boys are making learning a sport they love, how to be better people, & developing life long friendships are so worth the hours.

I never thought I would say that give me my family & put me at one of my boys games & I'm good to go. It brings me great joy to watch them having so much fun. Now maybe this year they will even win a few games!

(no injuries so far. see if I feel the same then)

Do you Facebook?

Do you Facebook? I do & I love it. I love being in touch with friends from my childhood, teenage years & now. It is like doing your family history in a split second. It is a great networking tool & you run into friends that you haven't seen in ages & you are all caught up on what is going on in each others lives. I'm telling you it is such a great tool to have.

There is a down fall to Facebook though. It is very addicting & sometimes you start forgeting to even have real conversations with people any more.

So there is my spin on Facebook in a nutshell. I love it & got have it!

A 10 year old in mourning.....

It has been a week since Taylor was sitting in his acting class & his acting coach, David H. Stevens, said: "Michael Jackson died today." We hadn't heard the news & I happened to be walking past the class & heard the news just like Taylor. I was shocked but I was most concerened about my 10 year old son who over the past 14 months has grown to love the skills of an amazing artist. I saw his face & saw the tears coming. He needed a moment to gather his thoughts. That night when we got home he had a good cry & has a few more since. He has literally watched his DVDs & listened to all his CDs 24/7 since last Thursday. He has watched all the specials on TV & is truly mourning the loss of an artist he aspired to be like (not as a person but as talented). Yesterday he had a voice lesson & he has been working on the song "Heal the World" by Michael Jackson. On the car ride home we always listen to their lessons (they are recording on CD to practice) & his was very somber. It made me think that I grew up listening to Michael Jackson & never stop to think "oh yeah he is quite talented or wow I really like him" but here my son is hurting for the loss of an artist. It has also helped me learn to see the good in people. Taylor can find all the good qualities in Michael Jackson even after the world has made him such a freak show. I pray the Michael Jackson will have peace but most importantly that Taylor will feel joy in his talent knowing that are great songs out there because of Michael Jackson.

Random.......

We have very busy with life lately. Here are a few random pictures of the kids.

Wilhelmina Review

Come to the Wilhelmina Review on Saturday, June 20th from 10-noon. There will be top agents from LA & NYC there to see new talent for modeling & acting. It is for ages 6 & up.

McKay the runner

McKay has taken up track & loves it. Last night he had his first track meet. He only ran the 100m because of lightening & rain but he took 1st place in that event. He has enjoyed having something to do that is active & what makes it more fun is he gets to do it with his buddies!

McKay warming up

McKay & his friends before their meet @ Murray High

Taylor being the supportive brother cheering on McKay thru sunshine & rain!

Vocal Recital

Eliza, Ali Kaelin (their amazing vocal coach), & Taylor

Taylor singing "Secret Smile" by Rascal Flats


Eliza singing "Soulmate" by Natasha Beddingfield

Eliza & Taylor did an awesome job on their spring recital!

Thanks Ali for all your hard work!

1st day at Cherry Hill

Eliza, Taylor, & McKay being silly at Cherry Hill. You know summer is here when it's Cherry Hill time!

My in-laws gave us a GREAT! gift for Christmas this year, season passes to Cherry Hill, our favorite water place to be. It's low key & ever so family friendly. The kids & I were able to spend some time there today. Nate had to work. If you look closely in the pictures you can see how empty the park was. There were maybe 100 people there. It was wonderful. I ran into a friend from North Carolina who I haven't seen in 10 years. The kids are all very sunburned because they have a very neglegtful mother but at least we enjoyed it!!!!!!!!

Taylor, Eliza, & McKay

McKay & I

Taylor & I

Eliza & I (is it just me or does she look really grown up in this picture?)

School is almost out shout horray!!!!!!!!!!

Taylor & McKay playing trampoline baseball at Grandma Coco's at the "Holy Land"

I am one that hates having kids in school. Not because of not wanting to be seperated from them or never liking their teachers that is completely the opposite of why. It is because I love to let my kids sleep in & for us to do things together as a family on our time frame & because I love the summer fun in the sun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah I am so excited for Cherry Hill, 8 hour days of watching my boys sweat to death in full gear at the Utah Ute's Football camp, McKay run track from next week thru the end of July 3 days a week, Eliza, Taylor, & McKay go to Basketball camps, & the best thing is our Cherry Hill passes were a fabulous gift. All the camps & events the kids have had to pay at least half some full & work hard at it. So not only are they working hard but they will play hard too & that is what I call a fun summer.

But what I dread most is in what will seem like just a few hours I will be sitting at this computer writting about what a great summer we had. Why does all that work & play go by so fast? We will love it while we can. Nate & I find such joy in watching our children grow & develop into the people they want to be & we love to support them at exactly that. So this summer will be a great one for the 2 of us.

Bring on the summer fun in the sun!

That didn't sound like it went to well!

These are my 3 BEAUTIFUL children! I may be bais but I believe & my husband would say the same that they are the best kids on earth. Not only that but they are the most talented in all that they do but they do work HARD at their dreams & talents.

Last night Eliza was helping Nate & I fix dinner & asked me a question in a very manner as to say you already did it. I answered back defensively & then Taylor got into it then went to his room mad so I went into talk to him then Eliza was yelling & upset so Nate was talking to her & my sweet McKay was singing silly songs in the background to try & get someone to start laughing.

After I worked things out with Taylor & Nate couldn't get anywhere with our pre-teen hormonal daughter she went to her room & slammed the door. Taylor had begun singing with McKay & they were both laughing more than singing & Nate & I were ready to yell SHUT-UP but never would use that kind of launge in our home so we both kept it to ourselves. I went in to Eliza's room to "talk" to her but pretty much like I always do I ordered her to do this & that & walked out & sat at the table to have the prayer. Nate said well that didn't sound like it went to well.

That's kind of been my theme as a mom: "That didn't sound like it went to well!"

Life as a mom has been much harder for me than I ever thought it would be. I lived with a family as a nanny for a year & a half before Nate & I got married & so I thought I had motherhood down great. I had grown up with a great mom & felt I had been well trained by this mother of the family that I nannied for. Things went well for periods of time & then I hated it & then they would go well. Doesn't sound like it was going so well.

Right after Eliza turned 7 I was addmitted to LDS for a suicide attempt & remained in the hospital for 2 weeks. I didn't see my kids for the whole time. It was very difficult. But it was a good timeout for me. What wasn't good was the diagnose that came with it: BIPOLAR! I knew life finally made sense to me for how I was feeling since I was about 12 but I knew this road was going to be long & rocky & at times closely resemble Hell. All I could think about was this doesn't sound good for a mother or for my children or my husband. But we slowly started preparing to tell our kids. "It didn't sound like it went too well." was my though after telling them. McKay as young as he was at 4 didn't want anyone to know. But while being in the hospital I had made the choice that if I had to walk this trail I would not walk it silently. I would walk it with a voice to teach others. That burned me for along time but I don't care. I am just sorry that others had to judge.

Nate had the pleasure of telling his family & it also didn't sound like it went too well. 5 years later & I am still just a BiPolar freak even with the education he tried doing. I understand why McKay in his wise 4 years pleaded not to tell anyone.

It is through the sounds of my children's footsteps that all sounds well in my heart. As a mother it has been a very guilty feeling knowing that I am trying these spirits that doesn't seem fair. I wonder how much I am screwing up their lives each day . When I thought I was so prepared to be this outstanding mother & yet I was tackeled by a running back who seemed to come from another field. It's as if my children can do up downs all day & hit the pads as hard as they can. They can run the hill 50 times a day & no matter what they will never be prepared for that running back to come out of nowhere. We have days that no matter what even though I'm on my meds & doing all I can here I come that running back & score when my kids aren't expecting. But my touchdown is a "episode" that can be 6 days or 6 weeks. And there is no victory dance. And when my kids get home from the game everyone says "It didn't sound like it went too well." And their right it didn't. That's what it is like living with a mom who has BiPolar.

God speed to a diease that at this time has no cure. To all those mothers struggling & all the children struggling with mothers. Keep praying & do all you can to make it better.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid............

When we got a phone call from Taylor's agent saying that he was going to be auditioning for the role of Greg Heffley from the series "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" we thought oh that's cool. Little did we know what we were getting into. Besides the fact that he was 1 of 6000+ boys beeing screened for this part for this Fox feature film we had opened a page to something we instantly fell in love with.

Realizing Taylor should familiarize himself with the character & the story we went & purchased the 1st book. He read it in 2 days. His audition (the 1st one he felt bad about but the 2nd one he felt like it was the best day of his life. We still don't know & we may never hear, we just know he made it in the top 5 that will go to the director so we were proud) Nate read it next in a few hours & then McKay. When McKay started you might as well have thought of him as a stone figure. He read until we forced him to bed.





We went & got the 2nd & 3rd for McKay because he HATES to read & we just had never seen anything like this with him before. As soon as we got in the car he began & stayed up until well past midnight reading. The next day the kids were going to my parents to spend the day & have a sleepover. My mom said all he would do was read. He finished that day & has moved onto book 3 & is almost done. I am not sure what we will do waiting for Book 4 to come out.

We made Taylor wait until McKay finished 2 to start reading it so he is thrilled to have the next one to read now. My advice would be to get the books. They are so funny. Nate dies when he reads it. They are a book every age level can enjoy & it is easy reading also. Now go read it today!!!!!!!!!!!

And the award for "Mother of the Year" goes to....."

I have been so far from the mother of the year that I know that I do not need to worry about opening the local newspaper this Mother's Day to be surprised by a special submission from one of my children that they have taken hours upon hours writing all the loving and unselfish things that I do daily as a mother nor do I expect a call from the Oprah show asking me to come a make a special apperance for Mother's Day & share with the rest of the world my secret to being the "World's Greatest Mother". And you may be asking yourself why I am so sure that I know this year will not be my year, well because to give you one minor example tonight when Eliza & Taylor came home from acting they were in her room being silly & she being a hormonal girl decided that she no longer wanted her brother in her room so after asking several times for him to leave, she grabbed him & threw him out & then proceeded to kick him several times. Well she seems to think that since the rule of thumb is that a boy must never physically touch a girl she can get away with this over & over so tonight I decided to try & teach some new discipline skills in our own home. I told Taylor to hit her & make it hurt as bad as it did for him. The fear in her face was almost pricless & she turned into an instant drama queen full flooding tears & all. Taylor being the gentleman he is decided against hurting his sister but I think it was enough to make her think before she attacks one of her brothers again. So this year I will humbly stand to the side as the true Mother receives her award. After all, I'm sure the "Mother of Year Award" doesn't constantly speak to her child at 100 decibals & that's when she's in a good mood.

SWINE FLU......

Okay so I'm sure you have all heard about swine flu or maybe you are like me & you haven't. Last night as I was driving home I was talking to my Dad & he was telling me about the fear of this swine flu stuff. When I got home I asked Nate if he had heard of swine flu? He had & acted as if it was no big deal. I laughed at always being the last to know everything. Then I wondered who on earth comes up with these stupid names?

For the last 3 & 1/2 weeks we have had nothing but sickness in our home. It started with Eliza the first day of Spring Break. She had been invited to spend spring break in St George with her best friend & something about it didn't feel right to Nate & I. We told her we needed to think about it & we just couldn't shake it. You have to know we love this friend & her family but the feeling wouldn't go away. When she got sick, BINGO we knew why. She spent the entire spring break in bed even had visits to the Dr. & ended up in the hospital. So I am wondering what exactly would a scientist name her illness..........

As she was getting better Taylor got hit hard by what she was just recovering from. He missed a whole week of school & almost went crazy having to be in the house. He was so sick of his 3 times a day medication we could do nothing but laugh when we had to just say "Taylor it's.........." & he wanted to scream. During his time of sickness he had a once in a life time opportunity to meet an amazing casting director & spend an evening with her & have a one on one audition with her. He didn't want to miss it but he had know idea what could possibly happen that night (no she didn't cast him in a leading role of a huge mega film). During his time he got a bloody nose that seemed to be a side effect of his meds & so he plugged his nose & held it not knowing what to do. Finally blood was squirting out all over & she said oh Taylor please go to the bathroom & get yourself cleaned up. One thing for sure, she will never forget Taylor Smith. So what would a scientist call his illness............

Then half way into Taylor's time down McKay spent a day trying to call home. Bless his heart he knew you now had to dial 801 so he called my cell phone which is a North Carolina area code plus he put the UT area code first. After doing this over & over all day he burst into tears. He was so sick & just wanted his mommy. I was very upset when Eliza called after school from a friends cell phone & asked me to come pick them up. I said come on you can walk two blocks & then I could hear my baby crying & jumped in the car & went got them. In the car he explained that NOBODY in the office would help him. What the heck! I wasn't happy with that at all. He was so proud to tell me he remembered the 801 area code but when we put it together it broke my heart what he was doing all day. He is still running a fever & infact going to the Dr in a little bit for a quick look of his lungs because he is very vulnerable to pneumonia. So what would a scientist call his illness.............

I think that the last 3 weeks have been crazy to say the least. Remembering who needs medication at what time. Thank goodness 2 of the 3 take pills & not liquids. But if you really want a scientific name for what the illness is in our home I would have to say it is Smith sibling enjoyable, loving time illness. They honestly have loved just to be cuddled up together watching movies & reading. You never realize that sick kids can actually bring joy to your home when they are together & too tired to fight. And sorry to offend the scienist who named it Swine Flu but come on name things a little less.....stupid. Do you want to tell your child that they are sick like a pig?

Those are my thoughts on being a mom of sick kids over the last month. It hasn't been fun but I have seen the funny things & been able to laugh & hold my sick babies. Soon we will all be swimming at Cherry Hill & this too shall pass.

Update on My Perscription addiction.........

After posting my story of my experience with being an addict to perscription medication (drugs), I have received a number of calls & emails reguarding either someones own struggles or that they are dealing with a close frind who is in the same boat & they are at the end of their rope trying to "save" that person. Which leads to me feeling the need to post a little advice on what those in either situation may or may not want to do.

The very first step is that you cannot "SAVE" that person. It is only through the Attonement & Grace of our Savior that they can be SAVED. Do not loose yourself in the addiction or pretty soon you will become addicted to their problem & forget what your life has to accomplish. When I was going through my addiction I had friends leave me left & right. I thought yea right some friends. If they were true friends they would have stayed by til the end. Now I know more & know that I was taking them down & they had small children at home and that they couldn't do it all & their committments were to their own family. Remember that it doesn't make you a bad person because you aren't there for the addict 24/7. Who you need to be there for is your own family as hard as it may seem. Pray & listen to the spirit of when it is a critical time for you to drop everything and go but I promise that will not be everyday.

The second thing is for those who are searching so hard for answers generally they are right in front of your face. I learned this the hard way. You, the addict has given all power to the meds. So to just say "no" isn't even a thought they can mustard. Don't judge them. Instead set up plans. For me it was that all meds were to go into a double locked safe & my husband keeps the key with him at all times. Don't for one second think if they really do need medacine for something that you can leave out the days dosages. DON'T DO IT! Talk to the phramsist and let them know that your wife/husband isn't to pick up any meds period! Talk with your doctor. Talk to your insurance company & have them flag their card so when they try to get meds they have to have a password that only you would know & then it alerts whom they are buying from not to sell to them. Lastly cut off their financial means. This may all seem harsh but it works & you have to decide if you want a dead spouse or BFF or a live one. The other one that I highly recommend is take away their liscence & the keys. You are allowing them to drive with a DUI. They are at risk of killing someone. How would you feel living with that the rest of your life knowing you did nothing about it.

In conclusion please contact me at anytime. I am an addict. I still fight it & will the rest of my life. But it is everywhere & we need to educate & you aren't trash because you fell to a very easy trap. Just except the help to get out & those who are there to help, THANK YOU!

God speed,

Leah

Jr Jazz comes to an end.........

If you ask Nate if he got his Eagle he will tell you no but that he did play more basketball than probablly any other teenager you know. So it is no surprise that our boys would play. But it took a lot of convincing to get them to play. Once they got the ball in their hand it was instant love & that made Nate very happy.

There is nothing more fun than watching 3rd grade boys take on basketball for the first time. McKay had a great season of a lot of laughs, learning, & a wonderful and patient coach. For Taylor's team most of them had played last year but there were 2 boys from Thailand who hand never seen a basketball & so I'm not sure which was funnier, them or the 3rd grade boys.

Taylor with his caoch (George Richards)

Taylor with his team. We had to beg Taylor to play basketball. He loved it & was a top scorer!

Taylor was always having a great time.

I'm not sure if Taylor got sweatier in basketball or football?

McKay with his coach (Tim Jackson) getting ready to start the game. McKay fell in love with basketball & has decided that he wants to play at Wake Forest. He even had his retainer made black with gold writing for Wake Forest.

McKay was the top rebounder every game!

He played great defense. It helps when you are so tall.

Nice game face.

Always concentrating.

Get it McKay!

I hate when things so fun come to an end. It was a great season and both our boys learned so much. Jr Jazz is a great program. They also got to go to a Jazz game which they had a blast at. Thank you so much to 2 very wonderful coaches, Tim Jackson & George Richards. Now we wait for football to start up in a couple of months.

Preparing a Temple of the Lord.....

For the last 2 months I have had the blessing of working at the Draper Utah Temple. During this time we have been busy with the open house & today we started preparing for the dedication. I have never realized what it truly takes to run a Temple. It is so well organized down to the littlest detail. It is hard to think that what I am doing as work when I am in our Father's House each day. I just cannot descirbe how truly blessed I feel.

Another baby!!!!!!!!!

My little sister is such an amazing mother. She does a celebration everyday with her kids for something. She makes the funnest arts projects with them. She is just the mom that every child dreams of having. Her kids are 5 & 3. We were so excited to find out that in October they will be adding to their family. It is so great to have a baby in the family again. We cannot wait.

Sara you are such a great example to me & I love you!