Monday, May 25, 2009

1st day at Cherry Hill

Eliza, Taylor, & McKay being silly at Cherry Hill. You know summer is here when it's Cherry Hill time!
My in-laws gave us a GREAT! gift for Christmas this year, season passes to Cherry Hill, our favorite water place to be. It's low key & ever so family friendly. The kids & I were able to spend some time there today. Nate had to work. If you look closely in the pictures you can see how empty the park was. There were maybe 100 people there. It was wonderful. I ran into a friend from North Carolina who I haven't seen in 10 years. The kids are all very sunburned because they have a very neglegtful mother but at least we enjoyed it!!!!!!!!

Taylor, Eliza, & McKay

McKay & I

Taylor & I

Eliza & I (is it just me or does she look really grown up in this picture?)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

School is almost out shout horray!!!!!!!!!!

Taylor & McKay playing trampoline baseball at Grandma Coco's at the "Holy Land"
I am one that hates having kids in school. Not because of not wanting to be seperated from them or never liking their teachers that is completely the opposite of why. It is because I love to let my kids sleep in & for us to do things together as a family on our time frame & because I love the summer fun in the sun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah I am so excited for Cherry Hill, 8 hour days of watching my boys sweat to death in full gear at the Utah Ute's Football camp, McKay run track from next week thru the end of July 3 days a week, Eliza, Taylor, & McKay go to Basketball camps, & the best thing is our Cherry Hill passes were a fabulous gift. All the camps & events the kids have had to pay at least half some full & work hard at it. So not only are they working hard but they will play hard too & that is what I call a fun summer.

But what I dread most is in what will seem like just a few hours I will be sitting at this computer writting about what a great summer we had. Why does all that work & play go by so fast? We will love it while we can. Nate & I find such joy in watching our children grow & develop into the people they want to be & we love to support them at exactly that. So this summer will be a great one for the 2 of us.

Bring on the summer fun in the sun!

Monday, May 18, 2009

That didn't sound like it went to well!

These are my 3 BEAUTIFUL children! I may be bais but I believe & my husband would say the same that they are the best kids on earth. Not only that but they are the most talented in all that they do but they do work HARD at their dreams & talents.

Last night Eliza was helping Nate & I fix dinner & asked me a question in a very manner as to say you already did it. I answered back defensively & then Taylor got into it then went to his room mad so I went into talk to him then Eliza was yelling & upset so Nate was talking to her & my sweet McKay was singing silly songs in the background to try & get someone to start laughing.

After I worked things out with Taylor & Nate couldn't get anywhere with our pre-teen hormonal daughter she went to her room & slammed the door. Taylor had begun singing with McKay & they were both laughing more than singing & Nate & I were ready to yell SHUT-UP but never would use that kind of launge in our home so we both kept it to ourselves. I went in to Eliza's room to "talk" to her but pretty much like I always do I ordered her to do this & that & walked out & sat at the table to have the prayer. Nate said well that didn't sound like it went to well.
That's kind of been my theme as a mom: "That didn't sound like it went to well!"
Life as a mom has been much harder for me than I ever thought it would be. I lived with a family as a nanny for a year & a half before Nate & I got married & so I thought I had motherhood down great. I had grown up with a great mom & felt I had been well trained by this mother of the family that I nannied for. Things went well for periods of time & then I hated it & then they would go well. Doesn't sound like it was going so well.
Right after Eliza turned 7 I was addmitted to LDS for a suicide attempt & remained in the hospital for 2 weeks. I didn't see my kids for the whole time. It was very difficult. But it was a good timeout for me. What wasn't good was the diagnose that came with it: BIPOLAR! I knew life finally made sense to me for how I was feeling since I was about 12 but I knew this road was going to be long & rocky & at times closely resemble Hell. All I could think about was this doesn't sound good for a mother or for my children or my husband. But we slowly started preparing to tell our kids. "It didn't sound like it went too well." was my though after telling them. McKay as young as he was at 4 didn't want anyone to know. But while being in the hospital I had made the choice that if I had to walk this trail I would not walk it silently. I would walk it with a voice to teach others. That burned me for along time but I don't care. I am just sorry that others had to judge.
Nate had the pleasure of telling his family & it also didn't sound like it went too well. 5 years later & I am still just a BiPolar freak even with the education he tried doing. I understand why McKay in his wise 4 years pleaded not to tell anyone.
It is through the sounds of my children's footsteps that all sounds well in my heart. As a mother it has been a very guilty feeling knowing that I am trying these spirits that doesn't seem fair. I wonder how much I am screwing up their lives each day . When I thought I was so prepared to be this outstanding mother & yet I was tackeled by a running back who seemed to come from another field. It's as if my children can do up downs all day & hit the pads as hard as they can. They can run the hill 50 times a day & no matter what they will never be prepared for that running back to come out of nowhere. We have days that no matter what even though I'm on my meds & doing all I can here I come that running back & score when my kids aren't expecting. But my touchdown is a "episode" that can be 6 days or 6 weeks. And there is no victory dance. And when my kids get home from the game everyone says "It didn't sound like it went too well." And their right it didn't. That's what it is like living with a mom who has BiPolar.
God speed to a diease that at this time has no cure. To all those mothers struggling & all the children struggling with mothers. Keep praying & do all you can to make it better.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Diary of a Wimpy Kid............

When we got a phone call from Taylor's agent saying that he was going to be auditioning for the role of Greg Heffley from the series "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" we thought oh that's cool. Little did we know what we were getting into. Besides the fact that he was 1 of 6000+ boys beeing screened for this part for this Fox feature film we had opened a page to something we instantly fell in love with.
Realizing Taylor should familiarize himself with the character & the story we went & purchased the 1st book. He read it in 2 days. His audition (the 1st one he felt bad about but the 2nd one he felt like it was the best day of his life. We still don't know & we may never hear, we just know he made it in the top 5 that will go to the director so we were proud) Nate read it next in a few hours & then McKay. When McKay started you might as well have thought of him as a stone figure. He read until we forced him to bed.

We went & got the 2nd & 3rd for McKay because he HATES to read & we just had never seen anything like this with him before. As soon as we got in the car he began & stayed up until well past midnight reading. The next day the kids were going to my parents to spend the day & have a sleepover. My mom said all he would do was read. He finished that day & has moved onto book 3 & is almost done. I am not sure what we will do waiting for Book 4 to come out.

We made Taylor wait until McKay finished 2 to start reading it so he is thrilled to have the next one to read now. My advice would be to get the books. They are so funny. Nate dies when he reads it. They are a book every age level can enjoy & it is easy reading also. Now go read it today!!!!!!!!!!!