Thursday, January 22, 2009

Persciption Drug abuse the fastest growing addiction


How quickly this once need has become a want even a killer. Prescription drugs destroy the greatest of people & families. It is the number one drug killing our youth right now. Why you may ask because they pop some pills from mom & dad's medicine cabnet with some alchohol & boy what a high. The problem they have no idea what that medicine was for. It is scary. It is the easiest drug to get your hands on. The most justifiable because hey it's from the doctor & it is also an addiction that thousands of housewives are struggling with. If you are LDS it is also easy to justify with the Word of Wisdom because you start taking them for health reasons & it goes from there. Even over the counter drugs are addicting.
I ran into a dear friend the other day & asked how she was doing & she told me her story of the mess they were in right now with her father-in-law who is suffering from this very addiction & all the money he has lost to it. I cried & hugged her & told her my story & I want to share it with you.
First of all we all have closets & we all hiding things in our closets that we think are the worst & ugliest ever but at some point they need to come out either to be thrown away or to be let go of or in my case to hopefully help others.
I know that many will look at me differently & I can accept that because I know where I stand with my Savior & how he looks at me is all I care about.
Five years ago this April we were adopting a baby boy. I was at every doctors appoinment, the ultrasound, in the delivery room, cut the umbilacle cord, gave him his first bath, & spent his first night with him. Then the next day his mother changed her mind. I was numb. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. How could the Lord take away this righteous desire from me. I couldn't have anymore children & I yearned for a baby yet she was out getting pregnant by different men (last count she has 4 with 4 different dad's. still not bitter). I was angry at her & the Lord & everyone around me. In June I had a suicide attempt & spent 2 weeks at LDS. They had me so drugged that I don't remember being there. They sent me home with A LOT of meds. Two days later I went in for surgery & the doctor messed up. So in 7 days my stomache had eaten it's self open. I went back in for emergency surgery & spent a week in the hospital so dopped up I didn't know what day it was or what was going on. Then for 3 months I had my stomache cut from hip to hip with a vacuum in it to drain all the infection. Everyday I went to a wound doctor & he gave me meds, the surgeon I saw 3 times a week & he would load me up with med, & my doctor I saw 1 time a week & he gave me meds. Of course I didn't say anything to any of the doctors because I loved the feeling of the medication & not the fact that it took away my physical pain away but my emotional. So I just kept taking it. I OD & woke up in my bed with the police & EMT's at my bedside. I took my kids all shopping at Dick's and took pills half way through & by the time we got to the car I went unconcinous & was for 17 hours. I totaled 2 cars when I was high. Once when I was dropping McKay off at school & I passed out & my foot slammed on the gas & a tree stopped us before we went over a bridge into a gully. I was out for 15 hours. Another time I had both boys in the car thankfully nobody was injured. I went to a school carnival so gone that someone went & found Nate & asked him to please take me home. There are 2 1/2 years of my children's life that I only remember bits & pieces of. I can never have that time back. I watch home movies & I cry as I watch myself at Christmas' high or out of it & think what a shamful disgrace. When my brother died I hit a year of hell. I don't know how Nate stayed. Then Nate found this doctor who was our angel. He was mean & I would cry just driving there but he turned my life around to where I am a wife, a mother who is a part of everything my kids do & I love life & I still have a lot of emotional pain but pills aren't going to take it away. This Dr Sean Ponce truly saved my life. I will forever love him. So I feel that the hard lessons I've learned on my path are for sharing & hopefully helping just one person down their path. I hate that I am an addict because once an addict always one but I have been sober for 2 years. But I am greatful that I know what other addicts are going through. Once you start you are a slave to what ever it is, whether it be drugs, smoking, pronography, eating, shopping, or even gossiping. We all have our addictions. You may think it isn't as bad as someone who drinks beer but if you cannot put down that diet coke think about that. My message started as please don't leave medicine lying around your house. Even those in grade school are starting it. And DON"T ever think it won't be your kids. One other great piece of advice I was given while getting sober is we are all about substance in this day & age. "We say to our kids I need a Diet Coke I have a headache. We need to stop refering to substances & material things to fix our headaches or our upsets." That has been one of my most profound lessons so I share that with you.

7 comments:

Cortney said...

What a humbling story. You are such an amazing woman!

RaShawn said...

That is some very hard stuff. I'm glad you found your way out. We just never know what is going to happen or how we are going to deal with it. Thanks for sharing.

Angie said...

We just never know how medication is going to affect us, and just how difficult it is going to be to go without it.

My mom got re-married a couple of years ago to a man who had chronic pain problems, and thus had struggled with addiction to narcotics. He was a talented artist, and law graduate of NYU, but the need for those drugs took over his life. He lost everything, his family, his job, and his home. It was so painful to see someone we cared about so much, on such a destructive path. Sadly, things ended when he disappeared for 2 weeks after forging a prescription at a pharmacy and fleeing to several different hospitals in different states seeking narcotics. The marriage didn't make it, and I still worry about him to this day. Addiction is such a sad thing for everyone involved. I am happy to know that you are on a good path, and staying on it with lots of love and support. Thank you for being so candid and honest about your struggles. It is never an easy thing to do to leave ourselves exposed like that. I admire your courage in sharing your difficulties.

Maricela said...

You are brave and courageous! Thank you for sharing this story with all of us. When we are experiencing the hard times, we don't see the good that will come out of them, but if we stay true to ourselves and close to the Lord, we always win and come out on top. I know He has a plan for each of us and He really does strengthen us.

Mike said...

Thanks, Leah, for your honest and brave post.

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Jen said...

Wow Leah! what a horrible time in your life. Thanks for sharing it -I'm sure it has helped mold you into the wonderful person you are. You must have a wonderful hubby to just love you through it all . I think that is just wonderful. I have that kind of hubby too! Big Big love JEN